What You Need to Know Before Starting a Divorce Action
by Karen Gersten
When the spouses divorcing or separating have children, the legal and emotional aspects of the case will become complicated. In most situations, Connecticut law allows for parents to determine their own custody agreement as long as the decisions made are in the best interest of the child. An agreement can be made without the help of an attorney but a court will still review the agreement to confirm it is in the child’s best interest. An attorney well versed in Connecticut child custody laws will make it easier for the parents to reach the arrangement they want.
Of course, as with other issues related to divorce, it helps if the spouses are willing to communicate with each other and negotiate in good faith. Both parties need to accept that even though they can no longer live together they will always be connected to each other through their children. Making the right decisions about child custody will make the divorce less traumatic for the children and help reduce tensions between the adults long after the divorce is settled. In general, there are three types of child custody.
Joint Child Custody
While the specifics will vary in every case, joint custody (sometimes called shared custody) means that parents share the legal responsibilities and the physical care of their children. Decisions about the child’s schooling and upbringing are shared so the parents must be able to calmly and effectively communicate on a regular basis.
Sole or Full Custody
In this arrangement, the child lives with one parent and that parent has the full legal responsibility for the child and all decisions relating to the child’s physical care. The noncustodial parent is typically granted visitation rights but does not have the right to participate in decisions affecting the child.
Split Custody
While not a common arrangement, split custody is when multiple children are split up among the parents. Connecticut courts tend to discourage this arrangement because they believe there is a benefit to siblings growing up together in the same household. But the courts will consider circumstances where one sibling has special needs, there are disciplinary issues or the parents present reasonable arguments for a split-custody arrangement.
In every case, the judge will take into account many variables including:
- The mental and physical health of the parents
- The mental and physical health of the children
- Any history of child abuse or neglect
- Any history of domestic violence
- The developmental and emotional needs of the children
- Parenting skills of the adults
For older children who are mature enough to make their own decisions, the court may also take into consideration the child’s custody preferences.
As you can see, the issues surrounding the children can be even more daunting than those affecting the adult relationship. The bottom line is that the court always needs to approve your child custody agreement and the court will always decide on the basis of what they believe is in the best interest of the child, not necessarily on what the parents think is the best arrangement. A lawyer experienced in dealing with court decisions will help you understand the court’s point of view and show you the best way to achieve the results you want.
Karen Gerstenis a respected divorce and family law attorney in West Hartford, Connecticut. Her firm has a 60-year history of helping men and women navigate through the difficult time they face as a marriage relationship comes to an end. Karen is a member of the Connecticut Bar Association, American Bar Association, Hartford County Bar Association and is appointed a Special Master to help resolve disputes in on-going cases in the family Court system.